So I have actually held off writing about this subject for some time.
But I think I am going to throw caution to the wind and tackle it.
What makes now a good time?
Truthfully, I don't know.
As a mother of 3 boys, I have come to meet many other mothers of boys in the past 17 years. Many never had daughters. Many have multiple boys to one girl. Nevertheless, there has always been a common theme that runs between us.
The thought of girlfriends.
Daughter in laws.
The realization that one day we will no longer be the prominent female in the lives of our boys.
When speaking with most moms of boys, it is a fear.
It's actually simple.
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."
It is something that happens more naturally and quietly than most realize.
Sons marry and forge their relationships with their wives.
She becomes numero uno.
Well, we somehow manage to stay closer to our parents for the most part.
We are the cruise directors for the family, if you will.
We plan the holidays, family visits, dinners, vacations etc.
Most times our agenda includes our own family - leaving our husband - the son to tend to his own parents and family agenda.
Sons and husbands can find themselves in the precarious position of greater time with the in-laws than their own families.
Needless to say the relationship between the son and his parents can be drastically different than the relationship between the daughter and her parents.
Many years ago, I made a pact with one of my best girlfriends - she the mother of two boys and I the mother of three - that we would have Thanksgiving together the years that all of our boys were with their wives' families. We would vacation together the weeks that the boys were on an extended family vacation in the Caribbean with their mother in laws.
We would have each other's backs when the boys no longer made us the priority.
Based on this theory, girlfriends can be a scary place for mothers of boys to tread.
Girls can hold a tremendous power over our sons. The interest that they take in the opposite sex during adolescence is a force to be reckoned with.
Especially if they find one that reciprocates their feelings.
This relationship can become the driving force of many decisions in their lives. Always considering the time spent with the girlfriend at the top of the to-do list.
The little boys who loved their Mommies with all of their hearts have begun their search for their soul mate.
Now I don't believe that our sons are aware that this is what is happening.
Never once do I think that my sons are thinking "Is she wife material?" -
But, I am quite certain that they are innately working on their list of qualities they deem important in their companion.
My boys have had various relationships over the past couple of years. Nothing of any true magnitude.
I am witnessing the first official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship status with one of my sons.
Talking on the phone for hours.
Texting round the clock.
She is coming to the house.
He is going to her house.
This summer they have been inseparable.
They have reminded me of my own high school days of young love and how all consuming it was.
"No, you hang up."
"You hang up first."
I suppose I was braced to feel complete opposition at this girl who holds my son's total adoration.
I think I was expecting to dislike her.
Or at least the status she seems to hold with my son.
The female that would take over his heart.
But I cannot say that I feel that way at all.
She is delightful.
I enjoy her company and her presence in my home is always welcomed.
She has forged nice relationships with each of my children and gone out of her way to fit in with our family.
She is kind and talkative.
A wonderfully comfortable personality to spend time with.
I understand what he sees in her.
I am proud of the choice that my son has made.
While I know that adolescent relationships are a dime a dozen and can end as quickly as they began -
This relationship has taught me two things...
My son is on the right track. I trust his ability to choose a companion of substance.
I no longer feel afraid of losing my sons to their wives one day.
I look forward to what I may welcome as daughters into my family.
But I think I will hang on to that pact I made with my best girlfriend...
Just in case.
"The mother-in-law frequently forgets that she is a daughter-in-law." ~ Unknown