Last year I blew his 50th birthday.
And unfortunately I have it documented in all too much detail here.
You'd think I would have learned my lesson.
But I didn't.
I went out shopping for his birthday a few days ago. To be perfectly honest - it was Labor Day.
What I was unable to find during my horrific Labor Day shopping trip - I did manage to find on the life saving Amazon website with its awesome Prime Shipping option.
However today is my husband's 51st birthday. It is as pathetic as last year. In fact, it could be worse.
Let's start at the beginning, shall we?
Last night I fell asleep very early. I was out by 10:00pm.
I awoke around 12:00 to howling winds, pelting rain, raging thunder and crazy lightning. The house was rumbling and it sounded frightening.
So I woke up my husband.
Me: "Are you awake?"
Me: "It sounds pretty bad out there. Should we turn on the television?"
Him: "Television? For what?"
Me: "I just have a feeling there is a tornado warning or something. It sounds awful."
Him: "I don't think that is really necessary."
Me: "I just think we should take a look."
After turning on the television, the words were filing across the bottom of the screen in a bright red background TORNADO WARNING.
I couldn't even believe it. There was this insane strip of storms traveling a very direct path from north to south right over us.
I said, "So earthquakes, hurricanes, now tornados, huh?"
Shortly after, the warning was cancelled.
But after sleeping for 2 hours, I felt as if I had had a nap and couldn't get back to sleep.
We found ourselves caught up in a movie until nearly 2:30 am.
Finally, my husband reminded me that morning would be here before we knew it and that we needed to sleep.
I tossed and turned until nearly 4:30 am when I finally dozed off.
At 6:00 am Son #2's alarm sounded with a vengeance.
My husband got up and headed downstairs.
I turned on the television to assess the situation. I knew I had to commute into Washington DC this morning to get Daughter to her new school.
Flood warnings everywhere.
I put Daughter into the car and after 1 1/2 hours dropped her off and began my return trip.
I was making fairly good time until I was about 15 minutes from home.
Then traffic came to a complete stand still.
The major highway was flooded.
It took me over an hour to cover what would normally be a 15 minute ride.
We crept along.
The clock ticked.
I finally returned home over 3 hours from the time I had left.
I then spent 2 hours furiously teaching Algebra and Spanish to Son #3. I did the dishes, ran the dishwasher, and packed a lunch before I had to jump in the truck and head back to DC to retrieve Daughter.
After an hour, I picked up Daughter and headed home.
Once again, we hit the traffic from the flooded road.
It is now 2:30 pm.
Immediately after I was home, the garage door opened and Son #1 was home from school.
He had a post surgery appointment for his wisdom teeth removal at 3:15 in downtown Annapolis. I had originally scheduled it for 4:30 to allow myself some time - but they called and moved it to 3:15 with no other option. Of course - cause that is how I roll.
While he changed clothes, I taught Daughter her math lesson for the day to complete while I am with Son #1.
We jumped into the truck and off we went to his appointment.
We parked in the garage and headed to the office.
After spending less than 5 minutes with the surgeon - we were sent on our way that everything was perfect.
We settled in for another 25 minute ride in the car.
I immediately sat down to finish helping Son #3 with his composition assignment for the day. Then I turned to Daughter and began checking her math and grammar.
Son #1 in the meantime, has left for work for the evening and will not be home until 9:00 pm.
I looked at the clock and knew I needed to get down to business with Daughter.
I took a deep breath. Tried to remind myself to be calm and patient.
Then I taught Poetry.
Once we finished I looked at the clock to find that it was 5:45 pm.
Son #2 will need to be picked up from football practice at 6:30pm.
Last night I asked Husband what he would like for dinner for his birthday. I did not receive an answer from him.
In fact, 2 days ago, my mother called to invite us to a birthday celebration for Husband at her house later this weekend. She knew I would be busy and didn't want me to worry about cleaning.
However in the past 24 hours several things popped up.
Son #3 won Nationals tickets and the game is Saturday afternoon.
With all the rain, Son #3's baseball schedule is all messed up. Now he has a practice clinic Friday night and a practice Saturday and then a game on Sunday. (Did I mention that his team has NEVER met - one time? How could they meet with earthquakes, hurricanes, tornados and flooding?) So now they must do it all in one day before their first scheduled game. The coaches won't even know these kids' names.
Son #2 has football practice Friday night. He also has a once in a lifetime Varsity football game being played at 2:00 on Saturday afternoon at the U.S. Naval Academy's stadium against a nationally ranked team.
Son #1 has to work on Friday night and Saturday while I take Daughter to her ballet academy for Saturday classes.
Additionally, Daughter is supposed to be attending a birthday party/sleepover Saturday into Sunday.
So I think it is fair to say that going to a birthday dinner at my mother's this weekend - may not be possible.
Therefore - this is where things stand -
It is 6:00pm and we need to go get Son #2 from football.
Son #1 is not home.
I have nothing planned for dinner.
Nor do I have a cake.
Nor do I have ice cream.
Some of his presents have arrived while others have not.
The ones that are here are not wrapped because I haven't bought wrapping paper yet.
In fact, I don't even have a card to hand to the man this evening.
I've got nothing.
I just overheard him order Domino's Pizza.
I know that in actuality this is his favorite thing - and a treat for him - so why do I still feel so incredibly guilty - AGAIN.
I know that the two of us are running on empty after our brief nap last night during the stormy weather.
What are the chances that I will be able to salvage this fiasco?
Probably not too good.
Except for one thing.
I know he doesn't care.
Not one bit.
He doesn't care about the pomp and circumstance of celebratory things.
What does he care about?
Me in a good mood.
The kids happy.
As long as I can give him those two things this evening - it will be fine.
Because his greatest gift has already been given to him...
And at 51 years old - he understands that.
He gets it in a very real way.
So why am I feeling guilty?
Perhaps I feel guilty because I know that my attitude regarding my own birthday is shameful compared to his.
Perhaps I feel guilty about the way I behave when it comes to my birthday.
Perhaps I feel guilty that I don't equally live up to the expectations that I place on him for my birthday when it comes to his birthday.
He is as basic a man as I have ever known.
How incredibly lucky am I?
Maybe I should remember that on MY birthday instead of looking for my celebratory dinner.
Happy Birthday, Babe.
I love you.